Winter to Spring

This past winter and subsequent spring have been full of adjustments, not only for me and my family, but for Gabe as well. I'm sure he thought I had dropped him in the frozen tundra when he first arrived. We learned about pipes freezing and "snowball high-heels" that have horrible traction on grass. If you ever desire to find out what it feels like to ride an ice-skating horse, then go for it, but once was enough for me. I've seen even more how important it is for Gabe to have a job and finding that balance between mental and physical challenges. Preparedness is what I focus on with him. I've set very specific goals for this year, though they are small in my eyes and in the grand scheme of my equestrian hopes. I've come to find that most horses are physically capable of lower level eventing. Let's face it, it's not until the upper levels that physical capability really begins to separate the herd. It is the mental acuity and adaptation that I find to be the challenge in lower levels and yet that is what I find lacking in the upper levels (as an observer and hopeful). It's the staying calm when in unusual or new situations, it's being a responsive listener and following your person, and it's making up for that person when they get things wrong. These are all things learned at the most basic level and yet they are so commonly neglected. I'm a highly critical person of no one but myself, but an acute observer of others. As my horse becomes an extension of me he many times gets put into the scope of my critical sight. For the majority of my riding life I have not know how to handle this and I've rarely met a trainer that did. The advice was abusive or dismissive. I have followed both paths and been equally discontent. It has been until now that I am secure and confident enough to discover this for myself and my horse. Thank God for a patient horse, a supportive husband and one really easy-going baby. The courage I have gained to seek this out has come from being a mom. Not only am I the example to hopefully another generation of equestrians, but I am also an unintentional ambassador for the "riding moms club". I meet many a young girl who looks at me with fear or anxiety when they see I have a kid. How do I do it? Why do you do it? It's the same answer I gave my hairdresser when she asked why I hadn't chopped of all my hair like the other moms. My answer is this: this is how I like it and my child is not an excuse or a copout to do the things in life that take effort. Even more so it is the reason that spurs me on. How I would hate for my son to grow up and realize that he was a scapegoat for not pursuing my dreams? I had one upper-level eventer say to me," I guess now you'll only ride safe horses since you are a mom." First of all, no horse is really  "safe". Some are riskier than others, but you are unsafe the moment you step through the pasture gate. Secondly, I love developing young horses. I love helping them find what they are good at and have potential for and matching them with that person that loves it as well. What a happy existence those partnerships bring! This is something I have loved for a long time and it has poured into every area of my life. From elementary school age I loved rehoming strays; cats, dogs, birds, you name it. I'd do it with people to if I could. Maybe adoption is I our future😊 I love the healing and redemption that comes through being in the wrong situation and seeing it made right, then there being hope, love and joy in and from that. Yep, throw in some adventure and I'm a happy girl. So, no, I will not just ride "safe" horse the rest of my life. How could I fulfill those desires doing that? Now there is a time and a place for risk management, but I will discover that along the way. 

So, please, ladies out there with kiddos, don't give up on your dreams no matter what it is. Be the first example your child has of being a dreamer and a fullfiller. Show them what hard work and determination look like. Know that you are an example of motherhood and you have the ability to affect generations. Now that is powerful. You will affect future generations positively or negatively, but you will affect it and people's perception of motherhood. For those without kiddos, don't look at me with pitty like my life is over. I have accomplished the most challenging event in my life in having a kid and my son is the most powerful motivator I have ever had. Sure my body is in constant transition and the majority of my time and energy is given to someone that can't even walk or talk. But one day he will.  And he will go into the world with the influence I have placed on him. So no, my life is not over. It has just been hugely challenged and enriched. And I would wish it for anyone that is brave enough for the challenge and wants to see a miracle come to life and feel the humility and joy of motherhood. For you mamas who have taken a break from riding-it's ok. It's not going anywhere and you can always come back to it. Sometimes we have seasons in life where it just doesn't work out; whether it's our body, time, money, anything. That time can still be used to better you as a horse person and you never know what your horse could do for someone else. Some of my best and most influential horse experiences have come from someone else's horse that they weren't able to ride. Plus, if it matters that much to you then you will find a way to make it work in whatever capacity that may be. And if horses are a way of life and not a hobby for you then don't worry about it. It'll happen. As my favorite horsey-Aunt use to say,"Leah, the reason your good with horses is that your more stubborn than they are"! That couldn't be more true. I personally am too stubborn to ever not have horses in my life...I hope that for you too! 

As far as what Gabe and I are working on-we're breaking bad habits. I've found that I raise my reins right before I ask for an increase in speed. I'm sure you can see how that could become an undesirable cue. Gabe also likes to walk off the second my butt hits the saddle...ugh bad manners. He also loves to gallop every hill he sees and when I don't allow it he likes to throw his head up, evade contact and trot or canter in place. So, what did we do? We went back to boring for a while, which was easy in the snow. We walked up and down the hilly drive until I thought he was going to start dragging his nose between his legs. Well, not really, but you get the point. It was only then, after a few weeks of walking that I allowed him to trot. And then we did a lot of downward transitions. I've now started to ask for canter sets, which have been more like gallop sets, but he was fighting me so badly that I pulled from a tactic that I rarely use: wear him out. I only will do this  if it's going to mentally benefit the horse. I'm not about running a horse into the ground. But he was telling me he wanted more. Here was the key: I decided when it started, when it stopped, and for how long. In that way I was listening to his wants but they were being done within my parameters. I use to do this with young horses that liked to run backwards when they got confused or were refusing to listen. I would switch to asking them to backup the second they used that as an evasive maneuver and I would ask them to do it a lot longer than they had originally intended. It switched their mind from being unsure or obstinate to thinking that they were doing something you asked them to do. In this case with Gabe I realized it was time to challenge both his body and his mind. We did two 5 minute gallop sets on hills with 5 minute breaks between. I gave him a day off and then the next day I did a small jump set with him and then walked for 30 minutes. He was still sore and tired from our gallop sets. Two days later and he was back to normal but much more responsive and respectful of our speed. The other thing I have been working on with him is using draw reins. I've used them before when doing breaking and training 3 and 4 year olds or retraining OTBs, but I was highly reluctant to use them as I have seen them misused so harshly. I finally decided that it would help me communicate better with Gabe and that it was a tool and an aide, not a crutch or a weapon. Our first ride with the draw reins was wonderful. Gabe was more balanced and I was able to be more balanced and in control because of it. Gabe got a much better workout and I was able to better ask of him what I wanted. Let me state that I am super careful with my horses mouth. I can't stand seeing unknowledgable hands ruining a horses mouth. I think most riders should learn how to ride with just a halter with reins and bareback(with a bareback pad for some security😊). I know, it sounds harsh, but I think many bad habits could be prevented if people started this way.  Anyways, Gabe and I are increasing our endurance and stamina and trying to do it properly. We'll interval train once a week, jump at least once week, and do our dressage tests 2-3 times a week in as many different locations as we can find. Since our dressage is my weakness, that is what we will focus on for me and getting Gabe fit will be my goal for him. I'm hoping to start lessons in the next few weeks and then hopefully a few dressage shows. Once I feel like we're proficient in that then we'll up our jump game and get to the fun stuff! 

My last thought is on Rolex. I'm excited that the roster has so many top-notch  names and many first or second timers. I'm sad to not be there, soaking up the atmosphere and trekking those beautiful hills of Kentucky. I'm also a bit crestfallen as I could've been there this year as part of a team, an opportunity I turned down. I'm crazy, right?!? I followed my gut on that decision and I'm doing my best not to regret it. I will be studying each horse and rider pair from my couch, grateful that USEF Network covers the event or then I'd definitely cry lol. Best of luck to all the riders and I hope the U.S. represents well this year!