Free Riding. Free Love

Recently I've learned of a new way of riding.  It has been an idea in my mind for a while but I hadn't learned how to carry it out until just recently.  I found it best described in a chapter of C.S. Lewis's book The Screwtape Letters.  Yet C.S. isn't speaking about horses and training, he's speaking about God and 'free' love.  "Desiring their freedom, He therefore refuses to carry them, by their mere affections and habits, to any of the goals which He sets before them: He leaves them to 'do it on their own'." Because of this freedom to not only choose how we are going to go about things or if we are even going to try at all there is an element of honesty that enters that gives way to power and a beautiful truth.  By the grace of God I'm actually seeing this in my training and my riding.  This more tangibly in my riding looks like not forcing Gabe into a "headset" and letting him look at a jump.  I've found that Gabe has been over-jumping and launching himself at everything because he wasn't even looking at it! Now on one side that is incredibly scary...luckily for us he's a powerful launcher.  On the other hand it means that I have a very willing horse. So, we're finally working past some of his fear issues.  But now he jumps because he knows what he's doing not just because I'm asking him.  This makes me so grateful for the honesty and the heart of my horse and the wisdom and caring of my God that allows me to CHOOSE to love and serve him.

Joys and Frustrations

So, I've recently been riding with a new trainer and it has been wonderful.  She has completely understood the small steps that I'm having to make with Gabe to not only train but to re-train so much of what he knows.  Though they may be small steps they have been huge for me.  I can actually have contact with Gabe now without him throwing his head in my face or in the dirt.  I had just been riding without leg or rein contact because he was so afraid of it, but then he would shoot off at a moments notice. Now, atleast I can enjoy riding my horse.  He also has a rythm! It's amazing what good instruction can do.  Gabe actually does better when I have a steady rein & leg contact because he "knows where I am" and I'm not just going to suprise him with a request. So, constant, steady contact is what I am learning.  Annie also explained why I've been having so much trouble with my leg.  For over two years now trainers have been telling me to bring my leg back and then they would lengthen my stirrup...ugh. I now know that that's like walking into a bar with an alcoholic, handing them money and asking them to stay sober...counterproductive.  So, raise my stirrups to the right length where I don't have to reach for them and drop my heals for center of gravity.  Yes, this is what I have been told since I first sat on a horse, but it's really difficult to see what you're doing wrong when you ride by yourself all the time.  The other huge help was learning that it's really more about hip angle and center of gravity than leg placement.  Unfortunately, for me and my horse my center has been my tush.  I'm not only retraining Gabe...I'm retraining myself!  So, shorten stirrups, close hip angle, drop those blasted heels, and recenter! Huge difference! Especially when riding a young horse that's trying to figure out their center of gravity, too.

Then the frustrating...I rode by myself a few days after my lesson and 30 minutes into the ride all we had been working on just went out the window. I was going over all the things that we had done in the lesson and stuff just fell apart.  Next thing you know I'm frustrated, he's confused, and the best thing I could think to do was just to walk for 10 minutes and try to regain some sort of positive experience.  Then I remember all the hard times, which didn't help.  I remember not having the money to pay for gas to get to the barn to work off Gabe's board, much less to be able to pay for lessons.  Then I would save up for the lesson and it would be horrible.  I would cry about it later.  I rememeber when the last barn manager changed Gabe's feed to a high fat, high protein diet and inceased the feed without telling me.  That was probably the worst month of riding we have ever had. Gabe was so high strung and excitable that he would begin cantering in place the second I sat in the saddle.  I was at a loss as to what I was doing wrong and why he had suddenly become so fat until I just happened to check his feed one evening.  Then I remember all of the "wrong" training.  Training that didn't help or hindred me and Gabe.  It feels like wasted time and money.  But is has been part of what has encouraged me to filter the training I have received and to trust my own instincts.  Somewhere along the way I have met and worked with good trainers.  Theirs are the words I remember.  But more than any trainer it is my horse that teaches me the most.  If I'll listen he tells me, "I'm ready lets do this!" or "I'm afraid.  I don't know what I'm doing, but I'll try."  The later is what I've heard the most.  It's amazing that he's willing to try and trust me after all he has been through.  That is what I need to remember.  I hope to become a better listener and communicator with Gabe, that I could return some of the patient that he has shown me.  He's a good gift from God.  We'll try again tomorrow.

The New

David and I are nicely settled in Spartanburg.  We both keep saying how we've felt like we're on vacation, but since he has starting working the real world has set in.  It's funny how after five months of marraige the arrangement changes.  I've was so spoiled getting to be married while David was in school...meet during my lunch hour-no problem...don't feel like going to class-no problem (for David, lol).  Now it's real life and sometimes it's just hard.  It inspires me more than ever to ride and to ride well.  Gabe has been doing well.  I had to switch his feeds as the only two stores to carry his current feed are in Clemson and Charlotte.  That was an unfortunate realization.  I've also started lessons with Annie Maunder.  I remembered her from when the Eventing Team Schooled with her.  She was so honest and straight-forward, yet positive.  I will forever remember her for saying "Get your hands outa your nickers!" when my reins were too long! Gabe likes her.  Though when she tried to get on he would take just a little bit of a step to the side so she couldn't reach and then he almost pushed her off the mounting block with his head.  I was so mortified! But she laughed and just moved the mounting block.  Annie gave us some great material to work on.  She also confirmed a lot of my training decisions which was a relief.  Our next lesson is this Friday. I've also been enjoying my birthday gifts from David-a  saddle that fits and an ipod shuffle:)  It's amazing the difference a properly fitting saddle makes.  I feel like I've been walking around with the wrong size shoes on.  And the music just helps to relax me...thought it's mostly rap.  It amazing the problems that I try to solve while riding...and then I forget to breathe because I'm thinking so hard.  Who forgets to breathe???  But Gabe reminds me.  I love that Annie said, "This horse might make a decent rider out of you" and it's so true.  Gabe is a teacher and he's stubborn.  He won't do what I want unless I ask him the right way.

I was able to have Gabe volunteered for a massage certification clinic.  I relaxed just watching him get a massage! It was an interesting mix of massage and chiropractic practices.  The masues would move the horse into a stretch and then the horse would have to release.  To do the "release" Gabe would walk behind me and pop his jaw or hip or whatever it was.  The masueses said that it was a trust thing.  That most horses, because they are a prey animal don't want to seem weak, but that Gabe felt safe behind me.  Which made me smile of course:)

One of my favorite people that I've met is the barn manager where I keep Gabe.  With his crazy stories any country musician could have some very creative lyrics..."I made so many daquiries that I broke my blender" or "I came home and she took everything but a beer".

So, a new home, a new barn, a new saddle, new music, a new instructor, a new year...I'll be 24 Saturday, new friends and new lessons to be learned.