You can not function out of fear. Just as a horse will sense someone's fear and either respond in fight or flight, so it is for those who approach pregnancy in the same way. I struggled with this in my own thoughts, the opinions of others, and especially the medical field. However, there is power and freedom in learning how to filter what you hear and choosing what will consume your thoughts. One of my filters is the "fruit filter". I look at the person giving the advice or whatnot and gauge what fruit it has given them and if I would want that for myself. If the fruit is good then the method of how it came into being is worth listening to.
Partnership. Most horse people spend a considerable amount of time, energy and money finding a horse for their chosen discipline. If they're competing, only minutes are spent doing so in comparison to hours of preparation. And it's very telling. The same is true of marriage and having kids. Choose wisely. Put the time and effort in and when it comes show time you'll be glad you did.
The unexpected happens. The worst thing that can happen is death. For me that's not so bad. It's even a good thing. So, prepare the best you can and then just let life play out. Learn from it. It'll be ok. Plus, pain is only temporary. That's what I tell myself before cross country and apparently childbirth.
Laugh and have fun if you can...especially if it's actually funny. Laughing can be the best medicine. So if you fall off your horse and a pile of poo softened your fall, then laugh. To the nurse who heard me comment while in labor that finally the day would come when I wouldn't have "hobbit feet", it was ok to laugh.
Community. Surround yourself with good, stable, happy people. Horses definitely try to do this and it's no wonder why.
Visualization. While going through contractions I thought I would visualize holding my son and that that would help me make it through. Turns out it didn't. Being that I am extremely visual and had never held my son before, all I could "see" was a blank page. So, what could I picture that like a contraction was intimidating but had a beginning and an end. Well, I was back on xc heading to a jump on top of a hill. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Jump. And on to the next one. I must say that was the longest 38 hours of xc visualization I've ever done. Maybe next time I'll change the course a bit.
Don't give up. Shortly after becoming pregnant I began to address myself as a "broodmare" and "out-to-pasture". This was certainly how I felt about myself and how I felt I was being treated by many. How sad is that? To those young horse people out there, having children is not the end of your participation in the equestrian world. It is actually the continuation of something much bigger. You can't be selfish if you're going to participate in it. The price you pay is worth the outcome. Your body will come back, and maybe even better then it was before. Don't let the fear of the uncertain keep you from potential joy. In light of all this, I've decided to give myself some patience and some room to recover. At least as much as I would give a "broodmare" coming back into work:)
Here's to horses and all the life lessons they bring.
